The Daycare Go-around

This post frst appeared on Urbanmamas

I have posted here numerous times about a wide variety of topics. I have offered you a look at what my specialties are, how you should approach the economic decisions surrounding daycare for your child, the hopes and dreams we have and the anxieties we face making that all important decision on where to begin your child's preschool days.

What you feel when you search for the best place to put child, perhaps for the first time might have something to do with your Americanism. Alexis deTocqueville called it our "restless temper", the feeling that the next landing place, whether it be job or house or even church, might be better than the one we have now. We believe in new as the better option; what Juliet Schor, an economist calls fast-fashion.

While I could use this post to talk about this disposable lifestyle we have been nurtured on, new this replace the still relatively new that, I'll instead speak to what I am doing to change that go-around your brain must be on as you search for daycare. Just as fast-food led to slow food movement, a return to finding nourishing instead of simply filling our bellies with whatever might be convenient, fast-parenting, the need to expose your child to everything as soon as possible will lead to slow-parenting, a return to letting your child be a child again.

More than simply hoping some talent will emerge as we plan our child's future, the brain function needed to get to that point is nurtured through these initial years of social interaction, learning while playing and staying with a small, family oriented environment. Your child should be given this opportunity to grow at a pace that is often not in anyone's control. Does your child surprise you at times with what they have done? This is them showing you that they are free thinkers, individually designed to grow at a rate of their own making.

This is why slow is best. Given the chance, each child will have the opportunity to develop at their own pace. This is also an opportunity for you to accustom yourself to slowing down yourself. This stick-to-it for longer than your think is necessary now will give you excellent training for those school years ahead. Watching your child grow up is never easy, yet each new surprise offers rewards that far exceed what you might expect.

I offer all of the safeguards many of the daycares posted here do. In addition, I also offer your child the patience to learn who they are, grow from the experience and become the child you envisioned they would be: sharp, inquisitive and adept in social settings.

If you would like to learn more about this kind of opportunity, please visit my site or drop me a note about the one opening I have left.
Bonni Petillo
Bonni's Funtastic Daycare

My Specialty

Over the years, and there have been twenty-two of them, I have developed a specialty in this business. I offer all of the great characteristics you expect in a daycare (and I can certainly elaborate on many of those things when you make contact). But what I provide for your child is something very special - for a certain kind of family.

I specialize in single child families.

This is not to the exclusion of siblings. But over the years, I have found that the main reason families are attracted to what I provide is the atmosphere of family. Here, your child will find the siblings she or he does not have at home. Not only have I found this to be beneficial to the child; the parent, who may for reasons of choice have decided to have just one child or possibly economic reasons, will be comforted to know that the family your child needs is in my home.

The atmosphere is both nurturing and educational, tailored as much to the way your child progresses as it is to the curriculum.
If you are looking for a family environment for your child, we should discuss the possibilities that await you.

I currently have two openings, for a three year old and a four-five year old. (Even though I focus on the single child families, siblings are always welcome and these two openings offer a unique opportunity for the right family.)

Take a moment and look at the site, send me an email with questions and I will get back to you promptly.

Admittedly daycare is different than big boy/girl school. But you should take note that we do follow a September through June educational plan. And school starts next week!

Bonni Petillo
Bonni's Funtastic Daycare

The Cost of Child Care

Lately, I have felt little or no effect of the current economic downturn. My parents are stable and have weathered the financial problems that have affected so many people just fine. Until a short while ago when I was faced with a sudden opening. And I almost had the spot filled when the economy swooped in a forced the family to back away from what they saw as an excellent opportunity for their child.

This got me to wondering how parents are budgeting daycare and what can be done to improve the situation. Donna Norton at MomsRising.org suggested that we support a bill traveling through the Senate that would increase the child care deduction to almost twice what it currently is.

This is an interesting topic. On one side we have those that feel as though taxes are already giving us quite enough (it is surprising that some of your readers would not like a tax deduction - the article didn't suggest a refund) and those like you that feel the government should help those less fortunate while helping those that can afford much more expensive and exclusive daycare situations. Those who commented seemed to be missing the issue, framing it as a tax issue rather than a quality care cost issue.

Can it be had both ways?

Possibly it already is. Those who earn more than poverty level wages are allowed a $1000 deduction per child as part of the Child Tax Credit. There is currently a bill in committee in the House looking to make this important credit indexed for inflation.

What price a child? Cold calculations can range from $170,000 on up to $350,000 per child. Should families look at these numbers decide not have children or should they treat them otherwise, as worthwhile expenses? While they are always as priceless as precious, they do have a cost attached.

Where the government should step in is to help providers lower their costs and improve their economic situation. Current government regulation put the cost of reimbursable meals at $1.92 (for breakfast, lunch and two snacks).

Often these providers are taking care of your children as the costs of care are rising and to fix that they must pass the cost of operating a safe environment for your child on to you. Insurance costs are among the most difficult to pass on and among the most difficult to avoid. Providers, the good ones at least, must be licensed (which may come with some improvements to what would normally be considered a safe-enough house) trained (on their own time after spending all day with your children) and certified (through inspections). All of these could be subsidized by the government relieving the economic pressures of the high cost of running a nurturing environment during these all important formative years.

Providing tax relief at the provider level would have a greater net effect on better care than offering similar tax deductions for parents who still must pay upfront.

This kind of tax break would have a twofold effect: the provider would be more willing to offer better care and you would pay less.

You can sign an online petition to help sponsor the Family Tax Relief Act of 2009.

PreSchool Parenting: It's Chilly Outside

There is a general belief that no matter what, you should get your kids outside. If there is no rain falling in buckets, I tend to agree. But what is not fully realized is the effect that cold air can have on a child that already has a few breathing problems.

What is just coming to light is the way cold air interacts with airborne pollution. In the summer, we get clean air updates when goofy things like humidity or inversions take place, both the effect of air that fails to recirculate fast enough to get the bad stuff out and let the good stuff in. In the winter, something similar happens.

Ozone, according to Todd Miner, a meteorologist at Pennsylvania State University suggests that "higher temperatures combined with sunlight provide the conditions that promote ozone, which has well-known irritating effects on the respiratory tract." he is also quick to point out the inversions are not a summer-only occurrence. In fact, the different layers of air can trap pollutants close to the ground in many winter locales.

Dr. Stefan Worgall, chief of pediatric pulmonary, allergy and immunology at NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell Medical Center, said "some people, especially those with asthma and nasal allergies, can react to cold air with cold-air-induced rhinitis, characterized by a runny nose and congestion. In some people, he said, it can even trigger an asthma attack."

While it might appear that your child has an endless runny nose, the cause might be something that we used to consider healthy when we were kids. Dr Worgall adds that if your child is already suffering from asthma, the chances of a cold-air occurrence of rhinitis increases from a normal 5% of the time to 50%.

This is also a good time to teach your child to sneeze into the bend of their elbow. I reinforce this concept on a regular basis. Do you?

Pre-School Parenting: Biology, Behavior, and your Kid's Brain

Your child has changed. I understand that the whole of your kid is a work in progress. The changes I want to write about today have to do with the subtle, and often not-so-subtle changes that might catch you unaware. These are not growing changes of the kind that forces you back to the store for a new set of clothes, a larger car seat or even a top-of-the-head mark on the kitchen wall. These changes are happening inside your child’s skull.

The pre-fontal cortex of your child’s brain is not fully formed by age two, but the changes that this part of the brain is subjecting you to may seem as if it has taken a devilish turn. From birth, a pattern of sleep at night, don’t sleep at night has been almost a constant in your daily life and certainly high on your list of sleep-deprived complaints.

Some are fortunate to have a child that actually enjoys her/his sleep and wakes up on the “right side of the bed” everyday. But that is the subject of another blog post. Yet, the same part of the brain that gives you joy or something quite the opposite, will ultimately send a barrage of messages to your child that will, if it hasn’t already, caused you great alarm.

Suddenly your little angel, or as one father referred to his youngster the other day “my special little snowflake”, will alter behavior and become something totally alien. They will interrupt and erupt, cry suddenly, color on walls or throw whatever they have in their hand, eat, scream and otherwise shift gears at lightening speed. Life becomes impulsive. Control becomes wishful thinking.

You can blame biology. The density of those neurotransmitters is far lower than that of the average adult yet we expect a progression of growth in your child that coincides with height or weight. They are, for all intents and purposes, physically where they should be but not mentally where you might expect them to be all of the time. The key to solving this problem is growing your child’s self-possession.

In order for your child’s behavior to develop, quite literally by forcing the biology to bend in the right direction, some exercise is needed. I practice developing these kids here by using story time as a time in your pre-schooler’s day when they must listen to the words. Only on the most rare occasion do I share the pictures in the story during the first go through of a book. This absorption in the story, the eye contact and the subsequent quiz that follows some time later, all help your child’s focus on controlling their impulse to simply get up and play.

This sort of biological push now will help them when they enter school and are required, for example, to stop playing when recess ends. By age three, your child should not only be able to count objects, but to check the work of another child (or even you). This simple games of checking the counter help the child not only focus on getting it right the first time, but subjecting their attention to a fact checking.

Next time you take out the bread to make a sandwich, count the slices aloud. Ask your child to check your work. You need four oranges at the grocery store. Have them recount what you have chosen to make sure you got it correct.

Have you ever heard us sing about cleaning up? Do you have a bedtime song you and your child sing together while they get ready for bed? These are memory builders that force your child to do two things at once, focusing on the success of both.

Now I know what you are thinking. Are you or I supposed to be training our little charges with a future of multi-tasking? In a way, yes. We “walk and chew gum". We drive and listen to the radio, often singing with great gusto. I know none of you use a cell phone and drive but the idea of being able to focus your brain on numerous tasks at once is the result of how well your prefrontal cortex developed and because of this training, it now fires those messages of self-control to your everyday life.

These kinds of studies are still in their formation stages. Although scientists such as Jessica Fanning and Helen J. Neville at the University of Oregon have begun projects to help train parents, the programs still seem to over reach, taking the childhood out of childhood. Any of these tools for teaching, especially at this age should be integrated into a daily routine of interaction. There will be plenty of time for your child to fall into the classroom style of learning. But until then, make every opportunity to learn fun.

Asthma, Kids and the Daycare Setting

We all know what asthma is. The wheezing, the lack of breath, the seemingly sickliness that having an inhaler at a young age all contribute to the image that your child's problem is of your making. And perhaps it is. But in all likelihood, it isn't.

The odds are stacked against your child when it comes to asthma. Researcher Nicolaos C. Nicolaou, MD of England's University of Manchester has identified several variables contributing to the disease. Being male, testing positive for allergic sensitivity, having a mother with asthma, and having a mother who smoked during pregnancy all have been known to add to the child's problems with breathing. But what Dr, Nicolaou was not expecting was the effect of daycare on asthma.

With over 6.2 million children in the US suffering from the illness (according to the American Lung Association), the concerns about how this problem develops the more a country industrializes has had medical researchers in quandary. Why if, as we progress and become more prosperous to the risk of breathing problems actually increase? Turns out, it is your house and your attempts at creating the most sterile environment possible for your child.

Not that there is something inherently wrong with keeping a clean house - and you certainly don't want to change your ways simply because your child cannot breath - but your fastidious behavior has been found to be a contributor. Why? You have eliminated many of the germs and bacteria that children readily absorb and use as a defense against the problem.

Called the Hygiene Hypothesis, Dr Nicolaou discovered that putting your child in a daycare situation actually increases the chances of your child gaining control over the problem. The contact with other children often builds the immune system back to normal levels and may actually stem the root cause of the asthma. While exposure to other children works in this process, older siblings living with the asthmatic child do not have the same effect.

Nicolaou was quoted in a recent article o WebMD saying that: ""This is probably because the size of the exposure matters," Nicolaou says. "Being exposed to a lot of children very early appears to be more protective than being exposed to just a few." He added that the daycare solution is best for children who are genetically disposed to asthma.

Next: Is the medication we give them also a cause?

Kids and Sun: It's Hot Out There!

Remember when you were a kid? No sunscreen, no t-shirts, no sunglasses, no worries. Remember your first sunburn? Chances are you were in pain and with little else in the way of information on the subject, you were liberally applied with a solid white coating of Noxema and more or less told to "walk it off".

But now they tell us that those kinds of burns, the ones that don't blister, that cause pain and redness that can last for hours, even days, are the ones that cause the most damage later in life. These first-degree burns were common place in the days of my youth and they all seem to lead towards a playground filled with nut-brown children by the end of summer.

I have even heard that the sun is different. although my scientifically minded husband tells me that the sun is the same, it is the sun's ability to get to us through some sort of diminished atmosphere is the real problem. That leaves your child facing a summer sun that might just be akin to life under a magnifying glass. You burn faster and quicker than ever before - so do your kids.

According to keepkidshealthy.com, there are ways to treat that sunburn, if for some reason your failed to apply enough sunscreen or worse, failed to re-apply it (more on that further along). They suggest: "The main treatment of a sunburns involves control of pain and includes use of an acetaminophen or ibuprofen containing product for a few days. You can also use moisturizers and a 1 percent hydrocortisone cream three times a day, cool baths or wet compresses, and drinking lots of fluids. If peeling occurs you can continue to apply a moisturizer until the skin heals."

Turns out, that in the quest to keep your kids safe from the sun, clothing is not enough. Most summer time attire has a SPF rating well below 10. That means that you need to do several things in addition to just covering them up.

Keep them inside. As much as we want our children to exercise, and we all know the allure of video games and television, the hours between 10am and 4pm are the worst in terms of exposure.

Even if it is cloudy, apply sunscreen and slather it on. Even children without sensitive skin (those born with genes that might be less Scandinavian and more Mediterranean) need to apply protection. That sunscreen should contain zinc oxide or titanium dioxide.

And as if that isn't enough, most insect repellents counteract the sunscreen you apply. You should probably be shopping for a combination rather than two separate products to protect your kids.

Choose a sunscreen with the highest SPF rating possible. Skin cancer is serious business and won't actually surface in your kids until they are adults.

Put it on liberally and 30-40 minutes before they are going out. If you are taking your child to pre-school or daycare, supply the sunscreen with their name on it.

And lastly, sunglasses. Sheryl Berman, M.D., a medical officer in the FDA's Division of Ophthalmic and Ear, Nose, and Throat Devices, says that wearing sunglasses reduces the risk of eye damage due to sun exposure, but doesn't completely eliminate it.

"Even when we talk about 100 percent UV protection, light still enters from the sides of sunglasses and can be reflected into the eye," she says. Some people choose sunglasses that wrap all the way around the temples. A hat with a three-inch brim can help block sunlight that comes in from overhead. Be sure to choose sunglasses with polycarbonate lenses which are generally recommended for children because they are the most shatter-resistant.

Keep in mind that the only medical claim manufacturers are allowed to make on sunglasses is that they may reduce eye strain or eye fatigue due to glare.

Food for Learning: Your Kids and Carbs

The simple fact is: your kids need the energy that carbs provide and should consume about 50-60% of their calorie intact in carbs over the course of a day.

A harder fact to understand: not all carbohydrates are created equally. A good rule of thumb however in distinguishing between good carbs and bad carbs is accessibility, portability and cost. Generally the foods that are the easiest to consume on-the-go, cost the least and can be found in the "center-of-the-grocery-store" are the highest in carbs found from sugars.

But we are getting ahead of ourselves. Carbs comes as simple sugars and starches. Simple sugars, such as the kind found in fruits are often referred to as simple carbohydrates, easy to consume and absorb into the body. The complex carbohydrate, starch comes from the families of whole grains, breads, cereal, rice and starchy vegetables.

These complex carbs all have certain characteristics. They all are broken down more slowly in the body. Because there is more to break down in such foods as whole grains, the carbohydrates enter the body slower, and that means is easier for your body to regulate them.

Because complex carbs are often high in fiber, the child will have fewer tendencies to over eat. And last but surely not least, complex carbs are packed with other vitamins and minerals. In addition to fiber, whole grains contain more essential fatty acids, vitamin E, magnesium, and zinc than their processed equivalents. All of these reasons are equally good for adults as well and if you noticed from the first in this series on food and learning, it is how you shape your child’s eating habits by example that begins the good eating habit process.

Just as Kidshealth recommends, the best way to achieve fitness through food is to:

Eat a variety of foods, especially fruits and vegetables.

Drink water and milk most often.

Listen to the “fullness signals” your body is sending.

Be active.

Food for Learning: How Parents teach their Children to Eat

Over the next five posts, we are going to focus on the subject of food.

Once the child reaches daycare/pre-school, her or his habits have begun to take shape. They have already started to make food choices, engaged in doing what they see other doing (modeling), been exposed to familiar foods, created opinions, witnessed some swings in parenting style, and quite possibly begun to make decisions about what foods they like and don’t like.

I am often struck by the long list of items that a child will or will not eat at the tender age of eighteen to twenty-four months. Once they get here (or just about any good pre-school or daycare situation) they will be often be sitting in front of a plate of nutritious food. Numerous daycares take advantage of government programs that offer some reimbursement for this very important function (although in my experience it is more of a subsidy than a straight across, dollar for purchased grocery exchange leaving some of the pass-down cost to fall over into the tuition).

In these sort of programs, regular menus are recorded not only for the parents to review (and a good provider will offer these menus at the end of each day) but for the regular, often as much as four times annually, inspections. How your child eats at this point has little to do with what she or he likes. Many providers will attempt to make the food as attractive to the child as possible but if the child is unfamiliar with these types of food, they may balk at eating them.

This is where you, the parent come in. How your child progresses through the food pyramid, yes that good ole breads on the bottom, lots of servings a day to the sparsely inhabited sweets, fats and oils that tops the heart healthy, good-for the bones Food Guide.

Here are four easy steps to getting your child’s diet for the world that cares about what they eat.

1. Give them numerous nutritional options. This can be especially difficult as food costs increase but offering them a small portion of several items, you can narrow down what the child prefers. The second part of this “give the child a choice” is to not lure them into liking the wrong thing. Adding a caramel dipping sauce to an apple snack doesn’t promote the apple. Smothering otherwise nutritious potatoes with gravy doesn’t give the child the opportunity to enjoy the vegetable just as a jelly smeared piece of whole grain toast doesn’t let the goodness of the bread shine.

2. If you don’t eat it, they won’t eat it. Drop the words that paint a picture of the foods flavor. You know the ones: Yummy and Yucky and any other kid friendly description of taste, good or bad paint the wrong picture.

3. Convenience out, home prep in. Far too many parents feed their kids with the wrong end of the pyramid first. Fast food doesn’t have to be bad food. A small sandwich will hold a hungry child at bay until you can out together a small meal. Refer to rule number 2 and you will probably see some room for improvement in your own eating habits.

4. Consistency always should be what guides you. A married couple should discuss this each day and focus on how they can be on the same page. Talk with your provider about what they are serving and how you can improve your child’s diet at home. Peer pressure often helps at pre-school or daycare and knowing that if they do not eat what they are given, they will not have alternatives. Allowing the child to leave the table without eating allows you to retain your authority. Offer them the food later, and if they fail to eat lunch a second time, they should be able to wait until dinner. Kids have limited emotions promoted by physical surroundings and hunger (the refusal to eat, not the refusal to feed) can be very real. If you have given the child choices and they have made the wrong ones, as long as their safety has not been compromised, be consistent.