The Daycare Go-around

This post frst appeared on Urbanmamas

I have posted here numerous times about a wide variety of topics. I have offered you a look at what my specialties are, how you should approach the economic decisions surrounding daycare for your child, the hopes and dreams we have and the anxieties we face making that all important decision on where to begin your child's preschool days.

What you feel when you search for the best place to put child, perhaps for the first time might have something to do with your Americanism. Alexis deTocqueville called it our "restless temper", the feeling that the next landing place, whether it be job or house or even church, might be better than the one we have now. We believe in new as the better option; what Juliet Schor, an economist calls fast-fashion.

While I could use this post to talk about this disposable lifestyle we have been nurtured on, new this replace the still relatively new that, I'll instead speak to what I am doing to change that go-around your brain must be on as you search for daycare. Just as fast-food led to slow food movement, a return to finding nourishing instead of simply filling our bellies with whatever might be convenient, fast-parenting, the need to expose your child to everything as soon as possible will lead to slow-parenting, a return to letting your child be a child again.

More than simply hoping some talent will emerge as we plan our child's future, the brain function needed to get to that point is nurtured through these initial years of social interaction, learning while playing and staying with a small, family oriented environment. Your child should be given this opportunity to grow at a pace that is often not in anyone's control. Does your child surprise you at times with what they have done? This is them showing you that they are free thinkers, individually designed to grow at a rate of their own making.

This is why slow is best. Given the chance, each child will have the opportunity to develop at their own pace. This is also an opportunity for you to accustom yourself to slowing down yourself. This stick-to-it for longer than your think is necessary now will give you excellent training for those school years ahead. Watching your child grow up is never easy, yet each new surprise offers rewards that far exceed what you might expect.

I offer all of the safeguards many of the daycares posted here do. In addition, I also offer your child the patience to learn who they are, grow from the experience and become the child you envisioned they would be: sharp, inquisitive and adept in social settings.

If you would like to learn more about this kind of opportunity, please visit my site or drop me a note about the one opening I have left.
Bonni Petillo
Bonni's Funtastic Daycare

Anxiety Tolerance

This post first appeared on Urbanmamas

I would be willing to wager that many urbanmamas visiting this site have not been in daycare when they were young, Yet, here you are, looking for care for the very child you probably have lost sleep over since the day s/he entered your life. Yet, here you are, looking for the type of care that affords you the time to go to work and for your child, the experience of social and educational growth.

It is referred to as nurture shock by authors Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman in their new book by the same title. They suggests that the feelings you have once you bring your youngster home, the feeling of "what have I/we done?" or better "they let me bring this home?" is completely natural. What now? is more like it. And once we ask that question, we begin looking for answers that may or may not be there. Bronson and Merryman don't think that many of the sources of wisdom we draw on on are the right ones.

There are plenty of other books and guides out there. Hollywood mommies (Jenny McCarthy, really?), doctors who look at children and still others that look at parents all write hoping to offer the magic elixir of parenthood between the covers of their books. While Bronson and Merryman look at the effects of praise and punishment (one leads to discouragement, the other induces lies) and how children develop a sense of race and future academic achievement, you are left with the decision of what to do with this precious bundle you are in charge of for the next eighteen or more years.

And as a result, we become anxious. Robin Marantz Henig, writing for the New York Times Magazine does not equate anxiousness with fear. She believes that "fear is something right in front of you, a real an objective danger". Anxiousness instead leaps forward, imagining something that might not even be there. When you begin looking for daycare, you will entertain both of these emotions at different times. And that's a good thing.

You are anxious about the kind of care a provider will offer. You are fearful and look for tell tale signs of danger as you interview for the spot. You are anxious, worrying about something in the far-off future will be a direct result of this very decision. And this is all part of parenting. You can rest assured that you are doing what any parent would do - although second born children can tell you that these emotions temper somewhat with each successive kid.

So how can I help? The kind of care I offer gives you some relief from this anxiousness. With an in-home, close knit group like the one I have, your child, almost immediately finds the kind of social immersion I provide educationally stimulating. They tend to blossom and grow in exciting new ways. I am focused on nurturing this growth with activities that have been developed over the twenty-two years I have been doing this. I relish my contribution not only to your child's well-being, but to yours as well.

I believe that if you feel good about where your child is, you will feel less anxious and as a result, be a better co-worker and after a day at the office, a better parent. Modern life offers enough challenges; it does not need to do the same with your child. They need the ability to be kids for just a little longer, learning while playing, interacting and socializing with a group that soon become friends.

I have one opening as we head into the fall. And I would be willing to spend some time with you dashing those anxious fears aside, letting you know that your decision is the right one and that you can relax (as much as any working mom or dad can) and contribute to the career you have chosen. Knowing that your child will be safe and in a enriching environment is for your benefit as well as your child's.


Bonni Petillo
Bonni's Funtastic Daycare

A Genius in the Making

This blog post first appeared at UrbanMamas

A Genius in the Making

There isn't a single UrbanMama (or UrbanPapa) who doesn't gaze down into their child's eyes and see a genius. That sparkle, that twinkle, that infectious giggle surely is just a front for a brain that is working its way toward a great future. And you promise yourself you will do everything you can to get this wonderful child there.
But how?

Scientific American reported that you may be trying too hard. In an article that appeared several years back, they suggested that "Many people assume that superior intelligence or ability is a key to success. But more than three decades of research shows that an overemphasis on intellect or talent—and the implication that such traits are innate and fixed—leaves people vulnerable to failure, fearful of challenges and unmotivated to learn."
Motivating a youngster to learn is done through play, through art, through song and dance. It is done while they aren't paying attention to the process. It is done by allowing them to be, first and foremost, kids.

Kids who learn with a soft structure often learn about abilities and talents they didn't know they had. "Praising children’s innate abilities," SA suggests "reinforces this mind-set, which can also prevent young athletes or people in the workforce and even marriages from living up to their potential." Interaction with children younger is beneficial as well.

Of the two views of intelligence the magazine reported on, my program has always leaned toward the development of a "mastery-oriented" child, done by encouraging them to try new things. Simple things like working with clay, dancing, trying their hand at cooking, or something as simple as finding out what makes them laugh. We work in our organic garden, play in the snow, and sharing their show-and-tell. Rather than developing a "fixed mind-set” which leads to "[m]istakes [that] crack their self-confidence because they attribute errors to a lack of ability, which they feel powerless to change", I look towards flexibility.

Instead I like to offer your child a chance to develop the kind of intelligence that "is malleable". While offering what many of the other fine daycares listed here provide, I will take your child on a growing journey, allowing them to develop in a soft structured way that suits them best.

Bonni Petillo
Bonni's Funtastic Daycare

What to do with $450

This post first appeared at Urbanmamas.com

The other day, as I perused one of the local free papers, I came across an ad for daycare. A new center had just opened and the fee for their services were $450 more than the tuition I charge. Ironically, they were offering many of the same things I was offering parents - except I offer a small family (no more than six children) in-home, (close to downtown in the NE) daycare situation and have been doing it for quite some time (over 22 years of caring for kids like yours).

The similarities are few: they have several openings (I have two) and they want girls (which would be great for my situation as well since I have one girl and three boys - although in the big scheme of things, this makes little difference at this age). The two spots I have open are both full time and with good reason: this is as much as school as the older kids attend, with scheduled activities and learning albeit in a soft structured setting. Full-time, just like big kid's school is as much to train your child as it is to train you.

The biggest difference between this "center" and me is the savings (the difference what I charge and what they charge) of $450 a month. Think how much college money that could provide in your child's 529 plan. Over the course of their time with me, that $450 saved dollars per month would take your family on several very nice vacations, buy hundreds of gallons of gas, thousands of pieces of fruit at the farmer's market, and tens of thousands of gallons of milk.

I encourage you to think about what you are getting in a daycare situation. Lots of money doesn't buy better care. Good care, such as what I provide is invaluable in the formation of your child, their well-being and their leap into school one day.
Check out my site and send me an email with any questions.

I look forward to hearing from you smart shoppers with smart kids.

Bonni Petillo
Bonni's Funtastic Daycare.com

My Specialty

Over the years, and there have been twenty-two of them, I have developed a specialty in this business. I offer all of the great characteristics you expect in a daycare (and I can certainly elaborate on many of those things when you make contact). But what I provide for your child is something very special - for a certain kind of family.

I specialize in single child families.

This is not to the exclusion of siblings. But over the years, I have found that the main reason families are attracted to what I provide is the atmosphere of family. Here, your child will find the siblings she or he does not have at home. Not only have I found this to be beneficial to the child; the parent, who may for reasons of choice have decided to have just one child or possibly economic reasons, will be comforted to know that the family your child needs is in my home.

The atmosphere is both nurturing and educational, tailored as much to the way your child progresses as it is to the curriculum.
If you are looking for a family environment for your child, we should discuss the possibilities that await you.

I currently have two openings, for a three year old and a four-five year old. (Even though I focus on the single child families, siblings are always welcome and these two openings offer a unique opportunity for the right family.)

Take a moment and look at the site, send me an email with questions and I will get back to you promptly.

Admittedly daycare is different than big boy/girl school. But you should take note that we do follow a September through June educational plan. And school starts next week!

Bonni Petillo
Bonni's Funtastic Daycare

Pre-School and Daycare Vaccines: Fomites and Kindergarten

I am graduating several kids from my pre-school this year to kindergarten. This is as big a move for the parents as it is for the kids. At one round-up, the gymnasium was filled with kids being "watched" so the parents could tour the facility without their little student in tow. As one parent commented on the experience, "I was worried about our child catching a cold in your small group".

Catching a cold, it turns out, is a natural part of the childhood experience. There are, however guidelines to keeping your child safe and the children around them - although your best efforts will be thwarted by the parents who, because of work obligations or because they simply do not care about the group, will bring a child with a fever. But what about the running nose, the cold, the winter crud that makes your child feel listless, less alert and just plain crummy?

A study was done on infants with the flu, a potentially deadly complications for kids this young. The researchers found that if you simply sit in the run with the sick child, you will not get the infection. If you touch what the child touched or cuddled the sick child, you would. In other words, your child's health in in the hands - their hands, the other kids hands and t o some degree, your hands as well.

In a daycare or preschool situation, providers spend a good deal of time making sure that hands are clean, toys and other objects stay away from the face, and that those toys and objects are regularly cleaned. But your child is only here Monday through Friday and those nasty germs, viruses and related bacteria are everywhere.

The term pediatricians often use is shedding viruses. This can occur before the child shows symptoms, during the child's illness and even after the fact. Because you cannot keep every child home the entire winter - pediatricians also suggest that missing school is far worse than the overall effect of the illness - unless they are really sick, you should consider their advice.

Children should be fully immunized against pertussis (whooping cough) and measles, for example, and the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends an annual flu shot for all children from 6 months to 18 years old. A child with a fever (or is vomiting) is another matter entirely. You may be tempted to load your child up with ibuprofen and drop them off, hoping for the best. But your provider or teacher knows your child better in many cases, than you do. If you do something like this, you will probably get a call.

Dr. Caroline Breese Hall, a professor of pediatrics and medicine at the University of Rochester has said, “Taking one child out of the school who sits next to your child is going to do little when your child goes into the lunchroom and there are secretions all over the table. You cannot focus on one sick child because there’s a world of much cleverer microbes.”

Wash, wash your hands and do it again. And be sure to teach your child the same sanitation. It can only help.

Pre-School and Daycare Vaccines: What is Measles?

With the recent refusal of numerous parents to vaccinate their children, most based on the fear that these types of vaccines are a result in the increase in autistic children, measles has begun to rear its ugly (rash-y) head. This might be as dangerous a consequence as refusing to get the vaccine in the first place, a gamble that may have long-lasting effects and possibly even death waiting in the wings

What is measles?

According to the New York Department of Health, it is an "acute, highly contagious viral disease capable of producing epidemics." What is often unknown, is how many people have had the vaccination that prevents this disease from spreading. Because the disease is "usually considered a childhood disease, it can be contracted at any age. The majority of cases are now imported from other countries or linked to imported cases." But that is changing according to Mike Stobe of the Associated Press.

He writes: "Measles cases in the U.S. are at the highest level in more than a decade, with nearly half of those involving children whose parents rejected vaccination, health officials reported Thursday" of last week.

"The number of cases" he continues, "is still small, just 131, but that's only for the first seven months of the year. There were 42 cases for all of last year." It seems to be making its re-emergence via home schooled kids in particular.

The following information comes from the NY Department of Health and is extremely important when making the decision to or not to vaccinate:

"In the first stage, the individual may have a runny nose, cough and a slight fever. The eyes may become reddened and sensitive to light while the fever consistently rises each day. The second stage begins on the third to seventh day and consists of a temperature of 103-105 degrees Fahrenheit and a red blotchy rash lasting four to seven days. The rash usually begins on the face and then spreads over the entire body. Koplik spots (little white spots) may also appear on the gums and inside of the cheeks.

"How soon do symptoms appear?
"Symptoms usually appear in 10-12 days, although they may occur as early as seven or as late as 21 days after exposure.

"When and for how long is a person able to spread measles?
An individual is able to transmit measles from four days prior to and four days after rash onset.

"Does past infection make a person immune?
"Yes. Permanent immunity is acquired after contracting the disease.

"What is the treatment for measles?
"There is no specific treatment for measles.

"What are the complications associated with measles?
"Pneumonia occurs in up to six percent of reported cases and accounts for 60 percent of deaths attributed to measles. Encephalitis (inflammation of the brain) may also occur. Other complications include middle ear infection, diarrhea and convulsions. Measles is more severe in infants and adults.

"How can measles be prevented?
"Anyone born on or after January 1, 1957, who does not have a history of physician-diagnosed measles or serologic confirmation of measles immunity, should receive two doses of MMR (measles, mumps, rubella) vaccine for maximum protection. The first dose should be given at 12-15 months of age. The second dose should be given at four to six years of age (school entry) at the same time as the DTaP and polio booster doses. MMR vaccine is recommended for all measles vaccine doses to provide increased protection against all three vaccine-preventable diseases: measles, mumps and rubella. Measles immunization is required of all children enrolled in schools and pre-kindergarten programs. Since August 1, 1990, college students have also been required to demonstrate immunity against measles."

Food and Kids: Smarter Shopping

Your children are under attack. Each day they are faced with a barrage of food suggestions in too many locations to list.
From television to movies to games and simply helping you shop for groceries, your pre-school aged children's diet is under attack. In the last of our five posts on diet, topics that will improve your child's learning abilities, we look at how you shop.

There is a great deal of price inflation taking place in the produce department. This is, without a doubt, on of the most costly sections in the store. Staples, such as potatoes and onions have risen in cost almost 100% over the previous year. Now, what was once a regular price is now the advertised price. Start here with your shopping list.

Organic has become the watchword for good health. And if you think the regular fruits and veggies have gotten expensive, wait until you make the decision to buy food grown in sustainable environments. (As I mentioned in a previous post, avoid big box stores and their attempt at organic even if it seems less expensive.)

But be careful if you choose to buy other than organic.
There is a full list of 43 Fruits & Veggies was developed by analysts at the not-for-profit Environmental Working Group (EWG) based on the results of nearly 43,000 tests for pesticides on produce collected by the U.S. Department of Agriculture and the U.S. Food and Drug Administration between 2000 and 2005. Peaches were the worst. Onions were the best (in terms of pesticide content).

Avoid processed foods (or food primarily sold in the center of the store). Soon as a food gets a manufacturer'label, you can bet on elevated levels of something - usually salts, oils, or fats. Rememebr, no fats listed on the label means trace fats can actually be there (less the 0.5 grams of trans fat is zero trans fat).

Whole wheat does not mean whole grain.

And lastly, do not allow these low nutrition items in the house. Most kids will know how to get these things if they are smart and will ask at your weakest moment. If they are not at home, they cannot be consumed.

Here are some simple tips.

Shop with a list - coupons are not usually printed for the items listed above.

Use farmer's markets where possible.

Take the time to make good food. (I know it is difficult, but food is a priority, not an afterthought.)

Help your children understand the importance of a good meal with family, healthy snacking, and exercise.