Kids and Tradition

I have mentioned that kids are conformists, enjoying the activities that a group can provide, the interaction that other individuals bring and the way that they can count on these things - not just the times when they happen, but the regularity of their occurrence. We all think of traditions as something that happens at the holidays. In fact, those two words are often linked in such a way that those who love the repetitive nature of gatherings and festivities around the these special occasions actually begin looking forward to and planning for them days, weeks, even months in advance. Some of us loath them and the restrictions they offer - same thing, different year.

But kids are different. They relish traditions. The question is: what kind of tradition are you offering?

According to Mbathio Sall of the Bibliothèque lecture Développement in Dakar, Sénégal, traditions are not only important, they provide a rich set of memories, cultural learning and often the much needed interaction that daily life often edits down to a couple of hellos, goodbyes and little else. Because of that, our children suffer.

Mr. Sall breaks down traditions in the following way (quoted directly without grammatical corrections):

"The tale or fable is generally told kids by old people, at dusk. Among the numerous explanations on the time of enunciation of the tale, let's keep this one: "The night is more auspicious to the dream and the creative imagination, and the mind is more free after works and diurnal worries.""

"The myth is a long narration that is object of strong belief for the people that produced him. Indeed, to the difference of the tale in which the sharing of the real and the unreal has the tendency to balance."

"The epic or epic narration relates exploits of hero who really existed and who played a major role in a people's, an ethnic's history."

"Proverbs are some vivid truths to which the tale acts as an illustration the most often. Some storytellers say the proverb before developing it with the help of the tale. Proverbs are often told kids by the old people, who still like nowadays to decorate their speech: they connote eloquence and wisdom."

"Indeed, from the tale, to the myth, proverbs and riddles and even epic narrations, there is always a teaching to pull, a value to instill in the child.

And finally, the song, which Mr. Sall describes as: " as being "the adornment" of the verb."

"Themes of instruction are provided more for tales and proverbs. The symbolic meaning coming from these two types is used on several plans: the knowledge of the nature, morals, the social behaviour..."

There is no better place in the American culture than the dinner table. We seldom gather as a group in any other place for a single purpose. This is perfect opportunity to discuss what happened at pre-school that day, what your child learned and possibly what you know about the subject. Offer and anecdote about your days in school.

No television, no distractions, no time limit. It doesn't have to be elaborate but it does need be placed very high on the list of things you do "traditionally".

Kids and Bullying

We all know one. We all understand how it feels to be on the receiving end of what KidsHealth.org describes as: "Bullying is intentional tormenting in physical, verbal, or psychological ways."

We all know what it was like just twenty, thirty or forty years ago when such action took place. We were told to retaliate, to fight back and to forcefully and often with force, rebuff the bully as best we can. A scene from Christmas Story set in the fifties illustrates the gratification and almost instant remorse when Ralphie confronts his tormentors.



There is a good chance that your child will be bullied at some point. Even the ones who seem aggressive to others may have the tables turned by still older kids when they reach school. There are certain things you can do as a parent of a pre-schooler that will help your child get though this period - and it is often just that, a stage, a phase or a brief period of time. How they react to the bully will influence how long the bullying actually lasts.

For instance, if you suspect your child has been bullied - and believe me, it can happen incredibly fast and often be unbelievably brief, here are some suggestions for you as a parent.

Bullies thrive on your child being upset. In a pre-school setting, where the group is often small, some of these techniques may not work. But now is the time to practice with your child. Michelle New, PhDClinical Child Psychologist, Kentlands Kids, in Gaithersburg, MD suggests that the child "Practice not reacting by crying or looking red or upset. It takes a lot of practice, but it's a useful skill for keeping off of a bully's radar. Sometimes kids find it useful to practice "cool down" strategies such as counting to 10, writing down their angry words, taking deep breaths or walking away. Sometimes the best thing to do is to teach kids to wear a "poker face" until they are clear of any danger (smiling or laughing may provoke the bully)."

She also believes that best method is to "Act brave, walk away, and ignore the bully. Firmly and clearly tell the bully to stop, then walk away." This will take practice and may not make any sense to your child now but later, it will definitely help with the problem.

Fight back with words although not to the bully. tell your child to tell an adult. Some states, bullying is actually against the law and the bully's parents are responsible for their child's behavior. Teachers, principals, parents, and lunchroom personnel at school can all help stop bullying.


The key is to talk about it.

Another idea that may help is getting your child interested in outside group activities that build confidence or skills that make them feel more comfortable in public settings.